Don’t Read This Bizarre Children’s Book to Your Kids

Hello, this is Brian with

WARNING:  Ok, I don’t really have a warning, but I’m telling you that I wouldn’t want to read this post with my mom looking over my shoulder.  Frankly, I can’t even watch a PG-13 movie with my mom without squirming during the racey scenes, but that’s a seperate topic for another day.

It’s never really crossed my mind to characterize or consider sperm as cute, but the children’s book, “Where Willy Went…The Big Story of The Little Sperm!”by Nicholas Allan, almost makes you want to cuddle with the little guys.  Willy, with his cute swimming goggles and little, round nose, is now my favorite sperm (no offense to my children).  The publisher calls it a “heartwarming story”.  I totally agree.  I’m just not going to read it to my kids.  Ok, maybe my son but not my daughter…

So, Willy, the sperm with the double-entendre name, is not really good at math but he’s an excellent swimmer.  He and his nemesis, Butch, practice daily for a big swim race.  After much training, he and 300 million other competitors swim eagerly for the prize – the egg inside Mrs. Browne.  Willy wins, of course, and victoriously burrows into the “lovely and soft” egg, which grows inside Mrs. Browne’s tummy until it becomes a baby girl.

The book is anatomically correct, and Mr. and Mrs. Brown’s reproductive system is properly represented.  I’m just really glad it’s not a pop-up book…

If you’re sort of creepy, or have a bit of a warped sense of humor, feel free to purchase this book on…it’s on sale.